How can you know if they are your twin flame and not limerence or obsession?

Now, he told me that the obsessing me was the thing that made him get up and do all this things. ( he kows nothing about TF label) He was at the train trailes 3 years ago, waiting for a train to come and end his life, and I sent him a message “hello little warm, tell me you're not jumping down the train trails today, cause I might need you tomorow.” It was just a joke for me, at least I thought it was.

All these changes in him, I never saw it coming, it just did, and puf, he tells me he is moving out of the country in a few days. I told him “ well, You got to do what you got to do”. In that moment my very controling husband sent me a threatening message, I just went on mumbling, he said “its your choice you dont want to end your marriage”, “nah, he is not that bad” I said. Got to say he never asked me to leave my husband, never being toxic, never said I should do something…just that one comment that he made the day I last saw him. He moved 12000 miles in a few days. I was still fine with his leaving, cause you know, man got to do what he got to do. Kept sending him chilly messages from time to time, he kept answering, untill after a month or two he left my message unread for a few days. OMG I went down to hell and back, who knows what triggered inside me, i have blocked him in every social media an went down to bed, speaking to nobody, eating nothing, just obsessing and longing after him, 3 months now. Seeing signs, dreaming of him, feeling syncronicities, literally chasing up with demons every night. He is still blocked, doesnt try to reach me, neither do I. I realised thoug how much I loved him since the very first day, I remembered every single of our conversations, which I never do, I never listen to anybody, never remember what a person said, now it just came to me, soooo fucked. I guess he has done his job, while I was just going with a flow, so it's my turn now. So, can limerence heal an addictive gambler, or bring you out of train trailes, make you a better father and a better son. Is my awekening and aknowledging our conection after he surrendered due to a limerence? Me now seeing he was in my mind every minut,every day in a past 5 years, I just never see it before. Me now seeing how much my marriage is damaged, how much my job doesn't fulfill me, how much I'm busy pleasing others, how blunt and superficial and dull I am. Now I see how detached I am from my family, my kids, everybody. My son tried to hug me today and I made a step back, pushing him away, like stop what the fuck are you doing. My 11 years old son. Figuring what to do, but one thing I know for sure it is that I'm not going to contact him, he did triggered me, as I triggered him back then, but he can't help me fix my life, only I can. It took only one word for he to stay and I missed saying it. 😔 One bad ass of a runner I am.

Well, I have read somewhere that the main differece between twin flame and limerence is in the result. Limerence is a mind fuck that pulls you down, twin flame brings you up. In practice, I'll tell you about my experience. Take me as a runner. So, I met this men almost 5 years ago, ( we were both married and with kids) went trough all that love bubble phase, I'm just going to skip it now. So, at a time, he is the most broken person I've ever met, he is an addictive gambler, parting and drinking all the time, cheating his wife, patological liar, losing all of his friends and familly, his job, his car, not being a good father, and in a really bad marriage with a narcissistic women, having suicidal thoughts. He was in every way emotionaly detached from every living person around him, his own parents, his sister, friends, even his 3 years old daugter. He was such a rude asshole towards every single person, and then we met each other. No need to say thet he never do or say anything bad to me, it always was only pure love from him to myself. Later I found out that he only layed in bed for days, talking to anybody, eating nothing, just sleeping ( her ex wife told me that, not him), only I know he was comunicating with me, as he has never stoped writting me. I knew nothing about TF back then, nore I wondered about our conection, as I was such a bad ass runner. Now I know he faught tremendously, longing and obsessing over me. I did always loved him unconditionaly, forgot to mention he had all his lover teeth roten when we met, God he was such a mess. I loved him nevertless. Never asked him anything, never told him you're this or that, never told him what he should do or not, I was just going with a flow, sending him cute emogies, hugs, quotes, songs…nothing planned tough. He was telling me how much he struglles at time to time, but I never felt pity about him. Now I know it is because he is my soul, one could never really pity itself. So, eventually he got up, quit gambling, finds a new job, pay all his depts, got divorced, got back with his friends and familly, took custody of his daugter, (Once he was such a mess he couldn't take her to swimming school, so I made an arrangement to take her with my kids), fixed his teeth, starting playing sports again (he was a couch earlier in life)…literally he bacame a different person. It is astonishing what he has done with his life.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.